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22 January 2007 @ 02:38 pm
JESHY, WHAT THE HELL JOURNAL WERE YOU READING?

WAS IT THIS ONE? D:<

IF IT WAS, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FIND IT!?

OH GOD.
 
 
Current Mood: confusedCONFUSED!!
Current Music: Still Katamari on the Rocks.
 
 
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01 January 2007 @ 11:07 pm
FUCK, last day of [actual] freedom [that I didn't steal ;D] comes to a close.

I soooo don't want to go back to school. [Maybe I'll sleep in tomorrow.]

Fucking homeschool me already plz. [I can't deal with people anymore and prefer to be agoraphobic/a hermit, thanks.]

IN OTHER NEWS: I really wanna cosplay some JRockers. Vidoll, an cafe, D'espa, et cetera et cetera. >: But I can't sew. DAMNIT.
 
 
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Vizell[Rape myself]
 
 
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29 December 2006 @ 01:05 am
My dad just called me a masochist.

Well, alright, he said I made a Freudian slip and called MYSELF a masochist, but I assure you, I have done no such thing.

He said it.

Not me. XD

[I think he might be right, though. It'd explain a lot.]
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: 12012[newspaper (live)]
 
 
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28 December 2006 @ 06:29 am
I don't sleep. Instead I stay up all night and usually watch movies.. tonight was Rent.

...and tonight I'm also really emotional. XD I cried like.. so hard just a minute ago. ANYWAY.

So we all know about my Neiro and his addiction, naa? I wanna write a story like Mimi and Roger's.. where, y'know, someone's an addict, and stops because of someone they love.. and then the person leaves and they fall right back into old habits? Y'know?

But I don't wanna just WRITE it, I wanna roleplay it with someone. T________T;;; And since Neiro's gonna be a doll.. being able to do photostories with them would be awesome, if you ask me.. but since they're gonna break up anyway, I don't expect someone to buy a doll just because I asked them to. XD;;;;; Maybe if it were someone's doll who could be used in another story? Like AU stuff?

[Shut up, I know they get back together in the end, but Neiro's not supposed to have a boyfriend. D: BUT HE COULD. I'd have to see where the story goes and if it's working right or not.. but yeah. YEAH. Yeah.]

I ALSO THINK IT'D BE COOL IF I HAD SOMEONE TO SING IN HARMONY WITH ME. JUST RANDOM. OUT OF NOWHERE. Crossing the street--DAT DANNNNN, BURST INTO SONG FOR NO REASON ABOUT NOTHING. FUCK YES.

I'm even more spastic when not sleeping, sorry. :D;;; I need to stop posting random shit like this, wtf. XD

But anyway yeah, ANYONE UP FOR RPING THAT THING WITH ME? :DDD? I don't care if there's photostories or not, that doesn't matter. XDDDD
 
 
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Rent.
 
 
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28 December 2006 @ 03:29 am
Alright, I'm alive.. I think.

Thanks for the get well wishes, Mel~

In other news, I started graffitting my arm again. <3 HOW I MISSED HAVING RANDOM JROCK LYRICS ALL OVER MY ARM AND POSSIBLY GETTING INK POISONING 8DDDD Man, how people used to bitch at me. "That's self-abuse! It's like CUTTING!" .....uh, no it's not. As far as I know, ink washes off, doesn't it? XD;;;; *shrugs* People annoy me. :3

So yeah, my dad gives me Perkoset that he got for his foot, for my back, lolol 43 degree curviture/S-curve/SEVERE FUCKING SCOLIOSIS, y'know; I take it even though I'm used to living with the back pain so I don't really care about painkillers. Hence me saying it was for no reason. But lolol I guess that automatically makes me a fucking druggie huh? Everyone already knows I'm not straightedge, so people should just suck it up and STFU. I would drink on occasion if I were old enough. Cloves taste like Christmas. 8D I would take acid/shrooms in a fucking heartbeat. I don't care if I "rot my brain". It's really of no use to me now anyway. ._________. Don't like it? Don't be my friend. Don't even ASSOCIATE with me. I don't care. :3

I mean, if people are gonna cut me out of their lives for something stupid like that, then why should I care about them anyway? They must not have liked ME on a whole in the first place, so what's it matter?

I mean, yeah, if it were someone whom I thought was a really good friend, whom I cared about more than anything and THOUGHT cared about me, who pushed me away because of my opinions on drugs and such.. then I'd care. I'd care a lot. I don't like losing friends. I really don't. Especially over some bullshit like this.

.....MAN WTF got me this angry about this? XDDDD

AAAAANYway, sorry about that. 8D;;; Needed to vent. I'm gonna go play some more RO and then go to sleep. n_____n Kbai.
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
 
 
 
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26 December 2006 @ 06:52 am
K guys, you know what's not cool?

Waking up from a fucking AWESOME sleep just to practically kill yourself trying to get out of your loft bed so you can run to the bathroom to puke for like, half an hour.

x____________x sdklasdjd wtf???

Life - 1,000,000
Alice - -13463567373657476746

Yeah.

OMG. My stomach. Holy shit does it hurt. T_______________T

And I've pretty much puked up everything I've eaten in the past three months.. which isn't possible, I know, but that's what it fucking seems like.

omg.

And now, I'm gonna try to go back to bed..

Right when my dad tells me we have some shit to do *wasn't paying attention, really, so she's not exactly sure WHAT* so uhhh Janice, Mel, sorry, can't go into the city with you guys. x_____x;;;;; I feel bad for saying I could and then backing out.. but ehhh I don't think I should anyway in case this bug or whatever I got is contagious. D:

LET'S HOPE I DON'T FALL AND BREAK MY NECK THE NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED AT LIGHTNING SPEED :D;;;;;;

oh god I'm gonna die x________x *curls up in bed with a heating pad*

... AND NOW I'M HUNGRY. FUCK!
 
 
Current Mood: sickdisgustingly sick.
 
 
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25 December 2006 @ 04:36 pm
OMG, I AM SO HAPPY.

Pierce found an RO server with 3k/3k/10k rates and omg. Such little effort to become high level. I feel kinda bad about it because there are people out there, on other servers or the "REAL" server, who have put so much time and effort into becoming whatever level they may be. But then I go, "I WAS ONE OF YOU GUYS." So I don't care anymore. XD

PRIEST. FINALLY. Omg. OMG.

As much as I wanna kick Pierce in the head most of the time.. this was a good Christmas present. T______T;;;

 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: techno stuff
 
 
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20 December 2006 @ 05:50 pm
I'm wondering if Kasai got my PM about her Nanuri.. >_____> *pouts a little* She was apparently on DOA today buuuuut, no reply. So.. yeah. Getting worried. T________T I want my Kirichooooo.
 
 
Current Mood: boredi want cookies
Current Music: House, MD.
 
 
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19 December 2006 @ 09:04 pm


No cut for you. YOU HAVE TO SUFFER. :'D
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: my dad talking about Miss USA. XD
 
 
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16 December 2006 @ 10:21 pm
when did I start to forget the pain
and let my heart degenerate into ugliness
and wither completely?
I was always afraid it would break,
thinking if I touched it,
it'd fall to pieces.
I learned what hurt and pain meant
when I met you.
I felt like something inside me was changing.

burn my body with feelings that spring without end.
trust me, the one who wanted only you,
these resolute feelings haven't changed.
they're locked in my heart where the quietly sleep.


I love D'espairsRay. I'd like to see them again. :O

I'd also like to be able to stop crying? Please? Thanks? :'D
 
 
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: D'espairsRay[Monokuro ni natta saigo no hi]