JESHY, WHAT THE HELL JOURNAL WERE YOU READING?

WAS IT THIS ONE? D:<

IF IT WAS, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FIND IT!?

OH GOD.

FUCK, last day of [actual] freedom [that I didn't steal ;D] comes to a close.

I soooo don't want to go back to school. [Maybe I'll sleep in tomorrow.]

Fucking homeschool me already plz. [I can't deal with people anymore and prefer to be agoraphobic/a hermit, thanks.]

IN OTHER NEWS: I really wanna cosplay some JRockers. Vidoll, an cafe, D'espa, et cetera et cetera. >: But I can't sew. DAMNIT.

My dad just called me a masochist.

Well, alright, he said I made a Freudian slip and called MYSELF a masochist, but I assure you, I have done no such thing.

He said it.

Not me. XD

[I think he might be right, though. It'd explain a lot.]

I don't sleep. Instead I stay up all night and usually watch movies.. tonight was Rent.

...and tonight I'm also really emotional. XD I cried like.. so hard just a minute ago. ANYWAY.

So we all know about my Neiro and his addiction, naa? I wanna write a story like Mimi and Roger's.. where, y'know, someone's an addict, and stops because of someone they love.. and then the person leaves and they fall right back into old habits? Y'know?

But I don't wanna just WRITE it, I wanna roleplay it with someone. T________T;;; And since Neiro's gonna be a doll.. being able to do photostories with them would be awesome, if you ask me.. but since they're gonna break up anyway, I don't expect someone to buy a doll just because I asked them to. XD;;;;; Maybe if it were someone's doll who could be used in another story? Like AU stuff?

[Shut up, I know they get back together in the end, but Neiro's not supposed to have a boyfriend. D: BUT HE COULD. I'd have to see where the story goes and if it's working right or not.. but yeah. YEAH. Yeah.]

I ALSO THINK IT'D BE COOL IF I HAD SOMEONE TO SING IN HARMONY WITH ME. JUST RANDOM. OUT OF NOWHERE. Crossing the street--DAT DANNNNN, BURST INTO SONG FOR NO REASON ABOUT NOTHING. FUCK YES.

I'm even more spastic when not sleeping, sorry. :D;;; I need to stop posting random shit like this, wtf. XD

But anyway yeah, ANYONE UP FOR RPING THAT THING WITH ME? :DDD? I don't care if there's photostories or not, that doesn't matter. XDDDD

Alright, I'm alive.. I think.

Thanks for the get well wishes, Mel~

In other news, I started graffitting my arm again. <3 HOW I MISSED HAVING RANDOM JROCK LYRICS ALL OVER MY ARM AND POSSIBLY GETTING INK POISONING 8DDDD Man, how people used to bitch at me. "That's self-abuse! It's like CUTTING!" .....uh, no it's not. As far as I know, ink washes off, doesn't it? XD;;;; *shrugs* People annoy me. :3

So yeah, my dad gives me Perkoset that he got for his foot, for my back, lolol 43 degree curviture/S-curve/SEVERE FUCKING SCOLIOSIS, y'know; I take it even though I'm used to living with the back pain so I don't really care about painkillers. Hence me saying it was for no reason. But lolol I guess that automatically makes me a fucking druggie huh? Everyone already knows I'm not straightedge, so people should just suck it up and STFU. I would drink on occasion if I were old enough. Cloves taste like Christmas. 8D I would take acid/shrooms in a fucking heartbeat. I don't care if I "rot my brain". It's really of no use to me now anyway. ._________. Don't like it? Don't be my friend. Don't even ASSOCIATE with me. I don't care. :3

I mean, if people are gonna cut me out of their lives for something stupid like that, then why should I care about them anyway? They must not have liked ME on a whole in the first place, so what's it matter?

I mean, yeah, if it were someone whom I thought was a really good friend, whom I cared about more than anything and THOUGHT cared about me, who pushed me away because of my opinions on drugs and such.. then I'd care. I'd care a lot. I don't like losing friends. I really don't. Especially over some bullshit like this.

.....MAN WTF got me this angry about this? XDDDD

AAAAANYway, sorry about that. 8D;;; Needed to vent. I'm gonna go play some more RO and then go to sleep. n_____n Kbai.

K guys, you know what's not cool?

Waking up from a fucking AWESOME sleep just to practically kill yourself trying to get out of your loft bed so you can run to the bathroom to puke for like, half an hour.

x____________x sdklasdjd wtf???

Life - 1,000,000
Alice - -13463567373657476746

Yeah.

OMG. My stomach. Holy shit does it hurt. T_______________T

And I've pretty much puked up everything I've eaten in the past three months.. which isn't possible, I know, but that's what it fucking seems like.

omg.

And now, I'm gonna try to go back to bed..

Right when my dad tells me we have some shit to do *wasn't paying attention, really, so she's not exactly sure WHAT* so uhhh Janice, Mel, sorry, can't go into the city with you guys. x_____x;;;;; I feel bad for saying I could and then backing out.. but ehhh I don't think I should anyway in case this bug or whatever I got is contagious. D:

LET'S HOPE I DON'T FALL AND BREAK MY NECK THE NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED AT LIGHTNING SPEED :D;;;;;;

oh god I'm gonna die x________x *curls up in bed with a heating pad*

... AND NOW I'M HUNGRY. FUCK!

OMG, I AM SO HAPPY.

Pierce found an RO server with 3k/3k/10k rates and omg. Such little effort to become high level. I feel kinda bad about it because there are people out there, on other servers or the "REAL" server, who have put so much time and effort into becoming whatever level they may be. But then I go, "I WAS ONE OF YOU GUYS." So I don't care anymore. XD

PRIEST. FINALLY. Omg. OMG.

As much as I wanna kick Pierce in the head most of the time.. this was a good Christmas present. T______T;;;

♥

I'm wondering if Kasai got my PM about her Nanuri.. >_____> *pouts a little* She was apparently on DOA today buuuuut, no reply. So.. yeah. Getting worried. T________T I want my Kirichooooo.

No cut for you. YOU HAVE TO SUFFER. :'D

when did I start to forget the pain
and let my heart degenerate into ugliness
and wither completely?
I was always afraid it would break,
thinking if I touched it,
it'd fall to pieces.
I learned what hurt and pain meant
when I met you.
I felt like something inside me was changing.

burn my body with feelings that spring without end.
trust me, the one who wanted only you,
these resolute feelings haven't changed.
they're locked in my heart where the quietly sleep.

I love D'espairsRay. I'd like to see them again. :O

I'd also like to be able to stop crying? Please? Thanks? :'D

MMMMM I loves me some House. :D

*SO gay for Hugh Laurie, holyshitwtf*

Alright, also need to stop talking on the phone. I'm down to 283 units and I had 600 that was supposed to last me until MARCH. Dunno how THAT was gonna happen, but uhh, yeah. My dad's gonna be pissed.

SO NO MORE PHONE CALLS UNLESS IT'S LIKE, LIFE OR DEATH IMPORTANT. Not that anyone on here calls me, but I'm just making note for future reference.

HOOOOLY SHIT that part of the episode just made me fucking jump. o_________o;; MMMMMMK so.. yeah.. yeah. And I want a red mug. <3 Yummy.

ANYWAY, so yeah.. my life is boring. The end.

i wish i were getting neiro for christmas, but we really don't have the funds, so i'm not gonna bug my dad about it. maybe he'll at least let me get kiricho from kasai. maybe. i'm hoping. ; -;

i'd prefer neiro, but hey.. beggars can't be choosers. D:

maybe i'll get him in january or february.. and i really want hadaka for my birthday.

*pouts*

i don't like the new juri head luts has for their christmas event. D: i'd rather have the older juri. she's prettier. ;_______;

ps, yeah, hiatus is over. i can't stay away.

*rolls away*

Memoirs of a Geisha.. makes me wanna rekindles my want to write a story.. about a boy.. forced into Geisha-ness. :D;;;

Also = happy Alices.

Yeah.

Know what else makes me happy?

My dad's growing a beard. It is ridiculous. I just look at it and LAUGH.

.. and then stroke my chin contemplatively.

Thought you all should know this.

Now I'm gonna resume my LJ hiatus-ness. :D

KBAI!





[PS. NEW STORY TIME! :D;; All I'm saying is this: it's titled "Fish in Your Pocket". XD]






Edit!

MEET YUUREI. 8D



.......yeah, I don't draw with my tablet that often anymore. >>;;; My hands shake too much and the tablet pen glides too easily.. hence.. shaky lines.. which piss me off.

But yeah. Finally, after seeing Memoirs of a Geisha like LAST YEAR with a certain exgirlfriend of mine whom makes me really angry to think about now [like, goddamn, if I knew how much of a fucking BITCH you could be, I never would have dated you, kinda angry >>;;;;;], and wanting to write a geisha-type story like LAST YEAR.. I finally started developing it [kinda] 8D! AKA made one boy. XD

AND YEAH, because I'm me, EVERYTHING HAAAAAAS TO BE LOLHOMO--so you get boys instead of girls. Girls are so overdone anyway, if you ask me. :D;;;;;

SO!

Yuurei [which means ghost, phantom, apparition, pretty much :D;; BTW, for those not IN THE KNOW~~~ *wiggly fingers*] is the most beautiful geisha in his district. He wears the loveliest kimonos of the finest silk around, and the men still find him gorgeous even if he doesn't paint his lips. The one thing he does do is paint himself white.. hence why his hand is darker than the rest of him, btw XD! And he does his eyebrows of course. People look weird without eyebrows. >>;;;

This is more like modern-day than Memoirs of a Geisha though. :O!! But still kinda like it? I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN T______T;;;; Maybe I'll start posting this on inbminor once I.. actually.. write it. lol. D: THIS STORY IS NOT FISH IN YOUR POCKET, BTW! No. NO! XDD

........ THIS GIRL'S FACE REMINDS ME OF GACKT. WTF??

AND NOW YEAH HIATUS. SORRY. XD!!

K, I think an LJ hiatus is in order.

I update this thing way too much and I'm sure it's pissing people off to no end.

Sorry 'bout that.

Dunno when I'll be back.

If you need to contact me, those who know how, know how. Find me on other websites. I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH ANY OF THEM BUT LJ FOR SOME REASON.

...

KAY. BAI. :D

.......Bailey's is tasty shit. >_________>;;; wtf. 23 bucks a pop though, fuck that.

AND I KNEW I SHOULD DREAD SCHOOL TODAY, AND I DID!

AND I WAS SO RIGHT!

So during art some chick flipped out on me unprovoked..

I left.. found Jeshy.. sat down and started crying. :'D

I'm so sick of Holmstead. SO sick of it. Everyone there is so full of themselves and I REALLY don't need people like that in my life.

Also teachers/subs/aids who don't DO SHIT when I ask for their ASSISTANCE IN A SITUATION x______x;;; I was asking the lady subbing? repeatedly if I could leave and all she would say is "Why are you making this difficult for me? Just sit there and draw"

..............and then the chick flipped out on me

AND I LEFT ANYWAY

we could have cut out the part where I GOT ABUSED and just let me move to another classroom with Pierce in the first place.

x___________x;;;;

SO YEAH I REALLY HATE MY SCHOOL :D

AND IF I GET IN TROUBLE TOMORROW I'M GONNA FLIP THE FUCK OUT.

...

I wish I had 20 bucks right now so I could go pick up my jacket. ;____________;''' *wants her coat 'cos she's COLD*

I'm gonna piss Jeshy off with my emo hair today.

YES.

FOR THE FUCKIN' WIN.

Man I'm so cute.. T wT;;; *not conceited/vain/narcissistic [ALL THE SAME WORD PRETTY MUCH??] at all*

YES. FINALLY GOT MY FUCKIN' COAT IN TO THE CLEANERS.

Gonna see if I can pick it up after school on Wednesday. _^_;; I'll see if my busdriver will drop me off close to the place.. good thing we put it in somewhere near me. XDDD!

I'm happy.

The wind/cold was fucking BRUTAL today.

Kuuchuu Buranko totally rekindles my love for 'Tarou's voice. * w* *sparkles* He's such a cutie. Omg. And this song is totally challenging Psychogarden for my favourite Pura song ever. ..along with Ghost. ZOMG.

And I dunno why the fuck people are going "I'm so disappointed in the new MUCC". I LOVE HORIZONT. D:!?!? WTF is so bad about it?? I mean, sure, it's not like OLD MUCC like Orugooru and Hana..? But it's still GOOD music. ; w;

*looks at the video.. thinks of doing her hair like a shorter version of Tatsurou's..* <33

IN OTHER NEWS, I HAVE A CUT ON MY MIDDLE FINGER AND IT FEELS REALLY AWKWARD WHEN TYPING/SCROLLING. D:

asdljakhgdskgj *spastic 'cos she's manic*

Dad's driving me to school--YEAH BTW HE FIXED THE CAR :D;;;;; yeah. YEAH. I kinda want coffee but I don't want to be caffinated+angry.. maybe I'll get some hot chocolate instead? OR SOME CHAI?? Mmmm vanilla chai * w*~

K think I'm gonna stop now XD;;

PS! Does anyone reading this happen to have any of these three songs and feel like sharing them with me?:
Plastic Tree - Kuuchuu Buranko
Kra - Extra Kingdom
Kra - Toki no Ressha

I only have the PVs of all three and a live of Kuuchuu Buranko.. and I'm willing to trade some shit if you so request. T^T;;;; *REALLY WANTS THE SONGS so she doesn't keep raping her computer with AVI files when wanting to hear them.. and also wants them on her MP3 player for school.. zomg*

mmmmmkay.

I wish llRO had a jobchanger NPC.

It'd make my life a LOT easier and I'd be happier right now. Just get to job level 40, go to the jobchanger and BECOME A PRIEST. JUST LIKE THAT. Instead of being 58/44 and getting raped by Mummies in the Priest test.

Fuckin' A.

And people are mean and only wanna know Acos for HEAL AND BUFFS PLZ agh goddamnit if I hear that one more time I'm gonna PUNCH SOMETHING.

.. I just want my sexy Priest.

Is that so hard to ask? T ^T;;;;;;

*whines*

SO UHHH

anyone know a good private server with a jobchanger!? D:

And I mean, I don't wanna switch servers and lose all my goddamn hard work, y'know? I don't wanna uninstall llRO but I might if I go anywhere else. D: *whines more*

Hate Pierce.

HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAATE PIERCE.

I'll love him again in a week BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW, I REALLY HATE HIM.

And he needs to stop calling me and leaving me voicemails when I ONLY HAVE TWO MINUTES LEFT ON MY PHONE. AAAGH. GODDAMN.

Ridiculously pointless voicemails too.

da;lkdsljkkfgjfdg

._________.

And I REALLY wish my RO server would stop going down already. I'ma stab it.

AND, I want my Priest. Hosnap. Really badly. Priests = sex.

But aakjhasdjhdf I HATE PIERCE THE MOST OUT OF THIS ENTIRE ENTRY OF RANDOM SHIT.

BLAH.

!!!





PS. My dad claims the Kitten will definitely be fixed before Christmas.. but if it's not, I don't give a fuck, I'm taking a goddamn bus to Boston at LEAST. Dunno how I'll get to NH from THERE, BUT.. IT'D BE A START. DDDD<

And yeah I really want Neiro plz. *has a strong urge to RP him that will not go away*